Most mornings start predictably—coffee, email, and catching up. But today, one post stopped me in my tracks.
I didn’t even get to enjoy my mindless scrolling because the first post I saw had me scratching my head and asking, “What the what?”! Considering we’ve just made it out of election season, it’s not unusual for me to see posts eliciting this reaction frequently. This one, though, had me tilting my head, squinting my eyes, pursing my lips, and thinking, “No. Nope. Just no.”
The author discussed the myth of balance in our lives and why we shouldn’t seek a balance between work and life–how our work should drive all areas of our lives because it should be our passion, and we should be constantly working to further the kingdom.
I did what I always do when I see something intriguing or infuriating–I jumped to the comments section.
Crickets.
Interesting.
Finding Balance in Life and Faith
As I stared at the post, I felt a familiar tug—an uncomfortable mix of frustration and curiosity. The idea that work should be our all-encompassing passion and purpose didn’t sit right with me. It echoed a message I had heard countless times growing up: that our worth is tied to how much we do and how well we do it, especially for the kingdom.
But was this really what Jesus modeled for us? Did He spend His days relentlessly striving to prove His value through work or ministry? Or was there something deeper, more balanced, in His example?
This question sent me back to the book of Luke, where I’ve been focusing on Jesus’ actions, words, and priorities. What I found there was both challenging and freeing—and a powerful antidote to the work-obsessed narrative I had just scrolled past.
What Jesus’ Life Teaches Us About Balance
I’m toward the end of Luke 9. Here are the highlights of this chapter so far because they are so important to understanding what comes next:
Jesus gives His disciples the power and authority to cast out all demons and heal.
The disciples head out on their own ministry tours without Jesus–healing and casting out demons
The disciples return to Jesus excited to share all their miracle stories.
Jesus is ministering to thousands of people and they need food.
The disciples want to send them away to find food and shelter elsewhere.
Jesus feeds them instead.
A father brings his demon-possessed child to the disciples, but they can’t manage to drive out the demon.
Jesus drives out the demon.
The disciples start arguing over which one of them is the best.
Jesus tells them to treat the lowest of the low, the least of these, with tenderness because those who are the least important in our eyes are the most important of all.
I don’t know about you, but I love the disciples so much because they are so imperfectly human. Jesus imparted them with all the power and authority they could possibly need, and yet their humanity still snuck in over and over again.
Sound familiar?
Isn’t this each of our stories?
Photo by Sebastian Voortman: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-walking-on-fence-1548769/
Overcoming the Pressure to Do It All
We can be doing all the things for God, and then “BAM!” our humanity smacks us in the face, and we find ourselves making the same kinds of missteps the disciples made repeatedly.
We want to push the needs of others off on someone else.
We want to be the best of the best.
We forget our focus shouldn’t be on making ourselves the best but on elevating those who are the least.
And, then, we do the same exact thing we see John doing next in the narrative from Luke 9:
The disciple John said, “Master, we found someone casting out demons using your name and we tried to stop him, because he doesn’t follow you as we do.”
Jesus responded, “You shouldn’t have hindered him, for anyone who is not against you is your friend.” Luke 9: 49-50 TPT
Reading these verses in the context of this whole story just absolutely illustrates the crux of humanity. The disciples were trying to prove their worth. They wanted their peers, and ultimately Jesus, to see their value. Even after Jesus redirected them to where their priorities should be–in loving the least of these–they still struggled with their need to perform, be the best, eliminate the competition, etc.
Remember the father who brought his demon-possessed child to the disciples for healing?
They couldn’t drive out the demon.
But, here’s this other guy who isn’t part of their group doing the very thing they couldn’t do.
And, they were jealous.
So, they tried to stop him.
Growing up, I was always taught this man must not have been a follower of Christ, and that’s why the disciples were upset. I read several commentaries on this scene, though, and they all had one similar thread–if this man was driving out demons in the name of Christ, he must have believed and had faith in the power of Christ.
At the heart of this issue isn’t one of false prophets, it’s one of humanity, jealousy, and our misguided belief that we have to do it all and be the best to prove our worth.
If we stop cherry-picking scriptures to read on their own out of context and we read the entire narrative and understand the characters, though, we can see this narrative is actually teaching the disciples to keep their focus and priorities on what matters: helping, healing, and elevating those who need it instead of trying to make ourselves the best.
We don’t have to do it all.
We shouldn’t eliminate the competition.
And this should never be our goal.
There should be room for all of us.
Practical Steps Toward Balance Today
As I’ve worked to recover from those harmful and destructive patterns of people-pleasing, overachieving, performance, and forsaking my needs completely to do more and be more, I’ve spent time studying how Jesus spent His time. Several things we don’t talk much about in the church have struck me over the last few years:
Jesus rested.
Jesus spent time alone.
Jesus showed up for his friends (see Mary, Martha, and Lazarus).
Jesus was emotional with his friends. (again, see Mary, Martha, and Lazarus)
Jesus desired to spend time with His disciples away from the crowds.
Jesus knew the value of time around the table with his friends.
Jesus fed His people (literally–on the beach after his resurrection).
Jesus served his friends.
There was a balance in Christ’s life and within his circle we don’t often talk about. This balance was important for the human side of Jesus, just like it’s important for our humanity.
Photo by Nandhu Kumar: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-stackable-stone-decor-at-the-body-of-water-312839/
We need to rest.
We need to spend time alone.
We need our friends.
We need time away with the people we love and value.
We need time at the table with the people who feed our souls.
We need to serve and be served by our friends.
We need balance.
If we don’t purposefully build these priorities and these relationships into our lives–separate from our work and our ministries– we can so easily find ourselves in the same place the disciples found themselves:
Trying to prove our worth through our work and our ministries
Trying to be the best of the best in our work and our ministries
Losing sight of what’s important beyond our work and our ministries
Criticizing the competition in our work and our ministries
Eliminating the competition for our work and our ministries
We need balance in our lives to keep perspective in our lives.
We need balance in our work and ministries to remind us of the very lesson Jesus taught the disciples: our focus should be on raising up the least of these and not on promoting ourselves, our work, or even our ministries.
This can be really challenging, especially for those of us who grew up in a church that taught us God’s love for us was tied directly to how successful we were or how well we were performing for the kingdom.
Maybe today is the first day of your journey to heal from this mindset.
Take a break.
Have dinner with your family where you talk about something other than your work or ministry.
Get a hobby.
Read a book about something other than your work or ministry.
Serve people without talking about yourself.
Go on a date with your partner and don’t talk about work or ministry.
Listen to your kids and get to know who they are.
Friend, we’re heading into a busy, busy season, and I want nothing more for you than for you to be able to find the balance you so desperately need and deserve in your life. My prayer for you is you can take the first step toward this new way of life and new perspective today.
I’ve been working for the last few years to do just this, and I can’t scream loudly enough how much better life is when it’s balanced.
Did this reflection resonate with you? Share your thoughts in the comments or share this piece with someone who needs it!
Reflections:
How would you rate the level of balance in your life today?
What can you do to help you achieve a better balance in the different areas of your life?
How are you taking the time to cultivate the important relationships in your life apart from work and ministry?
You can read more about balance in some of my other blog posts:
https://kristenneighbarger.com/2022/12/28/holiday-boundaries-balance/
https://kristenneighbarger.com/2023/05/03/healthy-relationships-boundaries-in-the-bible/
Check out the full text of Luke 9 here:
https://www.bible.com/bible/1849/LUK.9.TPT
Want to read the commentary on Luke 9: 50?
This is such an important message. I tend to allow work to dominate my life as I leave too little time for rest and play! Thanks for the timely reminder, friend! Perfect going into the week ahead of me!
Loved how you talked of balance here and proved the Jesus was not all work. We can't earn anything from God. He already gives His love, grace, mercy, and power freely through our accepting of Jesus as our Lord and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in and through us. If we don't balance things out and see it all as striving work, we've missed what life is all about. We shouldn't be surprised when we are too tired, discouraged, or angry that life isn't working out if we aren't properly balanced.
Of course, we are all humans living in a fallen world with the ability to be distracted by the next shiny idea or thing that supposedly helps us elevate our status and satisfaction somehow. I still have another decade of life before I can say I spent half of it with Jesus. I wish I had done so sooner, but then again that would have totally changed my story and couldn't reach who God has meant me to. When we let Him be the pilot leading us into how life is meant to be, amazing things happen.
Thanks for sharing this Kristen. No matter how close we think we are walking with Jesus, we need reminders about the basics so we don't get pulled off His grid by distractions and misconceptions.